彼女をデートに誘うときにうっとうしいと思われない誘い方

第109回

女性は子供のころから、無意識のうちに受け身で
生きていくよう習慣づけられています。

ですから、何か決断を迫るような物言いをされると、
心の奥底に不快感がわき上がってくるのです。


例えば食事に誘うときに

「イタリアンがいい、それとも中華料理がいい？」
とか聞かれると、心の中で

「そんなこと聞かれたって分からないわ」
なんてうっとおしく思ってます。


第一、イタリアンがいいって、言って、あまり美味しく
なかったら自分の責任になってしまうじゃないですか。





女性は決断させられることと共に、もっと嫌いなのは
責任を負わされることなのです。

仕事の時なんか、よーく女性を観察してみてください。


そういう目で見ると面白いように女性は決断や責任を
回避しているのがよく分かります。

これは、いいとか悪いとかという問題では無く、
長い歴史の中で女性が果たしてきた役割から、

女性の遺伝子にインプットされている性質なのです。





ですからこれを逆手にとって、利用すれば、女性を
コントロールしやすくなります。

先ほどの女性を食事に誘う例で言えば


「今度の休みにイタリアンレストランに行こうよ。
とっても美味しいところを見つけたんだ」


これを解説すると

「今度の休み」は具体的な日にち

「今度」だけでは曖昧すぎて答えにくい


「イタリアンレストランに行こうよ」

断定的に言うことによって、弱い命令になっており、

また、イタリアンレストランに行くことを決めたの
はあなたです。


そのレストランがイマイチだったとしても、責任は
あなた

しかもあなたが誘ったのですから、お金はあなたが
全部、

または多めに支払うというニュアンスが強くなる。


それに「行こう」という言葉に対して「行かない」という
回答は、

八方美人的な女性の習性として言いにくいもの
なのです。


「とっても美味しいところを見つけたんだ」

美味しいもの、ちょっと変わったものに女性は
興味を引かれます。

女性は臆病な割には美味しいもの、ちょっと
変わったものにはとても好奇心旺盛なのです。


しかも男性のあなたが連れて行ってくれる
というのです。

これだけで女性はデートの誘いに断りにくく
なるのです。





それに、押しつけがましいのはNGですが、

男性の口調が断定的なほうが、女性から見ると

「男らしい」「リーダーシップがある」
というように見えるのです。


「どっちがいい」と女性に聞くのは優しいように
見えて、女性からすると

全然優しくない、うっとうしい聞き方だということを
心しておきましょう。



関連記事

デート代を割り勘にした時の彼女の言葉と本音

彼女とのデートでこんな時はデートを早めに切り上げましょう

あなたに気があるさりげない女性からの合図を見逃すな

デートの誘いに、答えで分かる女性の隠れた乗り気度

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